what

shrikestrike:

sportsketball:

good non gendered words to say instead of dude to someone who doesnt want to be called a dude

  • buddy
  • bud
  • pal
  • neighbor
  • *australian voice* mate
  • *cowboy voice* partner

don’t forget

  • *strong Russian accent like Siberian winter* COMRADE

rothstar:

‘Pool Party

fucktonofanatomyreferencesreborn:

A scrumptious fuck-ton of human mouth references.

[From various sources]

pomp-adourable:

carryonmy-assbutt:

I’m sorry taco

;w; this literally got me to wash my bra today thank you taco

absolutelyvantastic:

new years resolution

  • become a dragon
  • be a dragon
  • continue to be a dragon
  • dragon
  • be rich like g-dragon

pinkygal:

ANK ROUGE SPRING 2012 BOTTOMS


Incredibly rare: Three whitetail bucks locked horns in battle and drowned together in a creek in Ohio.

Incredibly rare: Three whitetail bucks locked horns in battle and drowned together in a creek in Ohio.

yellowberet:

ghostmoritz:

yellowberet:

our friend noah

almost got mugged today

they were like “give us your money”

and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY

and it worked

WHAT THE FUCK????

me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back

WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER

I almost got raped by a pedophile when I was around 11 or something,

i was about to use an elevator in my house to get home but then he appeared and stopped the elevator and he was holding his erecting penis in his right hand and he asked me to show him my pussy, and i just looked at him in utter shock and fear and said ‘no’

and he just walked away

yellowberet:

ghostmoritz:

yellowberet:

our friend noah

almost got mugged today

they were like “give us your money”

and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY

and it worked

WHAT THE FUCK????

me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back

WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER

I almost got raped by a pedophile when I was around 11 or something,

i was about to use an elevator in my house to get home but then he appeared and stopped the elevator and he was holding his erecting penis in his right hand and he asked me to show him my pussy, and i just looked at him in utter shock and fear and said ‘no’

and he just walked away

How To Train Your Dragon 2: A Summary
Hiccup: look im doing voiceovers again
Snoutlout: i am going to tap that sWEET ruffnut ass
Ruffnut: no
Fishlegs: i, too, am interested in the ass tapping of which you speak
Ruffnut: no
Tuffnut: what the hell is going on
Astrid: I'm going to win a contest
Astrid: HEY Hiccup look i won this contest
Hiccup: HEY astrid look i found an island
Astrid: yeah cool whatever so what the fuck is up with you and your dad
Hiccup: pSSSHSHHH HE WANTS ME TO BECOME CHIEF ISN'T THAT GAY
Astrid: oh my gods!!!
Hiccup: shut up don't bring religion into this
Astrid: oh
Hiccup: hey look there's smoke over there let's check it out
Astrid: k
Astrid: oh fUCK my dragon got captured by some asshole
Eret: YES. THAT IS ME. I AM THE ASSHOLE.
Hiccup: okay that's cool but i have a sword made out of fire
Eret: ew I'm going to kill you for the glory of my master, EXPOSITION EXPOSITION EXPOSITION EXPOSITION
Hiccup: lol i didn't listen to any of that bye
Hiccup: dad this guy is building a dragon army
Stoick: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... whatever
HIccup: he calls himself drago or something dumb like that idk idk idk
Stoick: SHIT WE MUST GO INTO HIDING
Hiccup: what that's stupid I'm going to go talk to him
Astrid: hiccup this plan is bad
Hiccup: yeah but you came with
Astrid: good point
Eret: what the fuck are you doing on my ship
Hiccup: hey look at my cool fire sword again it uses dragon science wanna become a dragon rider
Eret: um
Stoick: HICCUP DON'T DO THE THING
Hiccup: DAD C'MON
Ruffnut: hey look at how hot this asshole is
Eret: WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE ON MY SHIP
Hiccup: i'm leaving this is stupid
Astrid: me too
Stoick: no
Astrid: goddamnit
Hiccup: hey look a new dragon ride--OH SHIT
Valka: I am Valka
Hiccup: i can see that
Valka: I am thE DRAGON QUEEN
Hiccup: i can see that
Valka: I aM GOD
Hiccup: i can see that
Valka: I AM YOUR MOTHER
Hiccup: i can se--wait what
Valka: lol look at all these dragons i'm so cool wanna live with me
Hiccup: sure but what about your husband
Valka: HUSBAND?
Stoick: WIFE?
Valka: HUBBAN?
Stoick: LET'S SING A SONG TO EXPRESS OUR LOVE
Valka: SURE
meanwhile....
Astrid: this is gay let's go find drago
Astrid: *kidnaps Eret*
Eret: UFCK
Astrid: okay cool we got to the camp now wh--
Drago: MURDER THEM ALL
Astrid: DAMNIT
Eret: aaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHoh wait this dragon saved my life goddamn
Drago: DESTROY THE DRAGON RIDERS
Valka: fucK look at this ARMY i am VERY ANGRY
Stoick: calm down it's cool we got this
Hiccup: hey drago i like what you got going on here it's pretty cool and stuff but what about being a drAGON RIDER HUH? sounds great amirite
Drago: no i'm going to kill the alpha and replace him with a new alpha
Hiccup: wtf
Valka: it's cool i got this
*new alpha kills old alpha*
Valka: nvm i don't got this
Drago: toothless, kill hiccup
Hiccup: what
Toothless: k
Hiccup: aAAAAAAAAAAAAAH TOOTHLESS NO
Stoick: aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SON NO
Stoick: *dies*
Hiccup: FUCK
Toothless: FUCK
Valka: FUCK
Astrid: FUCK
Eret: i still have no idea what's going on
Drago: k i'm gonna take over your town now bye
Gobber: we should have a funeral
Gobber: blah blah blah GREAT CHIEF blah blah blah NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Hiccup: shut up don't bring religion into this *fires arrow*
Gobber: oh
Everyone: *fires arrow*
Astrid: now what
Hiccup: idk how about baby dragons
Hiccup: DRAGO I AM HERE TO TAKE MY TOWN BACK
Drago: umm??? but i have your dragon????
Hiccup: not anymore bITCH
Drago: SHIT
Toothless: I AM THE ALPHA
Drago: no
Toothless: I AM THE ALPHA
Drago: fuck no
Toothless: I AM THE ALPHA
Bewilderbeast: yeah he's the alpha
Drago: SHIT
Hiccup: wtf Toothless? discount godzilla
Toothless: shut up i'm saving the day
Hiccup: oh
Astrid: hiccup i'm so proud of you
Hiccup: thanks girlfriend
Valka: hiccup i'm so proud of you
Hiccup: thanks mom
Valka: your dad would be proud of you too
Hiccup: thanks dead dad
Eret: i still have no idea what's going on
Hiccup: here take my dad's dragon
Eret: oh sweet
Astrid: let's have another contest
Hiccup: wtf is it with you and contests jesus chrsit I'm gonna win this time even though i'm the chief and shouldn't be in the contests anymore
Astrid: oh
Hiccup: hey look another voiceover

skypestripper:

when u in class and porn pops up on ya dash

image

If someone cheats on you they do not love you, remember that. If someone cheats on you they do not care about you as much as they say they do. If someone cheats on you it means that for a split second you were off their mind long enough for them to put another person in arms that should only be for you. If someone cheats on you, dear god, I hope you don’t go back to them because you are worth so much more than that.